Today, I just was feeling so low...
I lost one of my best friends and havent been able to stop crying. I told her she is better off hating me and I've done this in the past. Today it was just too far. I thought my parents were getting split and my grandpa is in the hospital and I just pushed her too much. I really miss her, I don't know what to do. I thought extremely dark thoughts today. Luckily other friend who I told to stop being my friend (which I've been friends for 10 years now. ) came over and stopped me. She was extremely upset that I wanted to end our friendship.. The thing is I don't know why I wanted to end it I just was full of so much stress and hate and I keep it all inside and built up. I just exploded. I wanted to tell my parents but I couldnt think of a way to do it. I just laid in bed and knew here comes the first tear I'm ever gonna cry. I know I'm not gonna sleep or eat. I probably wont be on much.
I'm sorry guys.
I let you down too..